From my Old Diary

Posted: March 5, 2006 in من هنا و هناك

Going back to my old diary, I couldn’t help but smile at many of the thoughts written there .. Sometimes I smile at how silly I was, sometimes I smile about remmbering the old golden days .. I will share some my very early thoughts (to Arabic readers, I wrote it as I wrote it back then, did not correct the grammar mistakes):

Year: 1995

between the trees I sit بين الأشجار أجلس ـ
No, between its branchesلا ! بين غصونهاـ
there I sit aloneهناك أجلس وحيدة ـ
I wait for a bird to carry me with its wings أنتظر طيراً يحملني بين جناحيه
a beautiful white birdــ طيراً أبيضاً جميل ـ
he carries within its feathers happiness I am dreaming of يحمل بين ريشه سعادة أنشدهاـ
a dream I want to accomplishـ حلماً أتمنى تحقيقه ـ
and his voice water me وصوته العذب يسقيني ـ
stops a thirst inside me يروي عطشاً بداخلي ـ
I will wait for you bird, do come!سأنتظرك أيها الطير .. فتعال ـ

Year 1995

يا قلب إحفظ ما بداخلك
لا تفصح عنه مهما شاغلك
بداخلك آهات
بداخلك مشاعرك
آهات تعذبك
آهات تؤرقك
عذاب يجننك
عذاب يقتلك
oh Heart keep whats inside
never reveal it even if its annoying you
Inside are your cries
Inside are your feelings
Cried that torture you
Cries that cause insomina
Torture that makes you crazy
Torture that kills you!!

1997 (the first year I left for studies)

رغم الفراق سأظل صامدة
رغم البعد سأظل موجودة
عبقي سيظل يجول و يصول
في هذه الغرفة ذات الجدران الأربعة
سأظل كالوردة الموجودة بغرفتي
حية رغم كل شيء
ستبقى وسأبقى معها
Despite being away I will be strong
Despite the distance I will still be here
my smell will go around
in this room with 4 walls
I will be like the rose in my room
alive despite everything
she will live, and I will too!
(march 1998)
للشمس مشتاقة عيني
للبحر للصحراء والجبل
لعمان الخير لوطني
لحبي وسعدي والأمل
بعيدة أنا بجسدي
روحي هناك منذ الأزل
My eyes is missing the sun
the sea, the desert and the mountain
to Good Oman, my land
my love, happiness and hope
I am away with my body
my soul is everlasting there!
( May 1998)
إقتليني و إجرحيني
إطعنيني بسكينيك الدامي 100 مرة
بعد كل هذا إفتحي الجرح
لن يعود الجرح يؤلمني
لن ينزف المزيد من الدم
دمعت .. لا أنكر أني دمعت
بكيت .. نعم بدمعي الغالي بكيت
ما كان الدمع من أجلكِ
و لا الأنين من ألمكِ
إنما مني أنا
من حزني على نفسي
من رقتي لحالي
ولن أذرف دمعة من أجلكِ أبداً!ـ
Hurt me and kill me
and stab me with your bleeding knife
and after all that, open the wound
it wouldn’t hurt
it wouldnt bleed more of my blood
I teared, I dont deny that I teared
I cried, with my precious tears I cried
the tears werent for you
and the crying wasnt from your pain
but because of me
I felt sorry for my self
and I will never shed a tear for you!
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Comments
  1. Jeff says:

    Oooooooh, that’s cooooool. Poems from your DIARY long ago. (But for me, if I think of 1995 as ‘long ago’, I start to giggle. It seems like yesterday…)

    I remember when you told me that money trees don’t grow in Oman, but you don’t need them because you have oil wells! 😀 But now I want to know if there are birds there with happiness in their feathers! Here they just have dandruff and little insects. You Arabians are so lucky.

    And in the last poem, how come it says “100” in the Arabic, but not in the English? That poem really shows the kind of talent you have, even if it’s not quite as good as the ones you write now, especially that prose-poem about the moon. It’s very powerful and the I like the blood image in the first half changing to the tears in the last half–you didn’t cut me; see, I didn’t bleed! I did cry though, but not because of your knife.

    I wonder if the person who inspired that ever read it. I wonder what they would think if they read it now…would they guess it was to them? Or did you make friends again long since?

  2. Arabian Princess says:

    loool cummon jeff .. I was 15 in 1995 .. thats really really long ago :p

    opss sorry about this mistake, you see I didnt really translate it by looking at it this is why I missed the 100 times, it says you stabed me with your bleeding knife 100 times.

    They never read it, and I dont want them to. It was a friend who hurted me very much those days. But its over I guess, I still meet her, talk to her and we are alright..

  3. Jeff says:

    I really love your painted feet, but I’ll miss those little girls!

    And LOOOL, just because you were 15 in 1995 doesn’t mean it was a long time ago! Wait twenty more years and you’ll start to see what I mean. 😉

    And for your friend who hurt you….sounds like you put it in the past, but it still hurts. 😦

  4. Arabian Princess says:

    I’ll miss them too :p but I thought its good for a change .. plus, I put these feet not because of the henna (paint as you called it) but because of the embrodiry in the trouses .. its the traditional trouses of my region 🙂

    Pleaseee I cant beleive I would be thirty in few years and you are talking about 20 years ahead!! :p

    Well it doesnt hurt at all now, I just remmber the state I was back then .. and I feel bad .. it changed a big part of me.
    But then, I am very grateful for the lessons I learnet 🙂

  5. Jeff says:

    Yes, I know henna. I had a Somali woman in my office once–at weddings, they dip their fingers in the henna up to the knuckle. The Chinese guy in the office next to mine saw it and said, “You got spaghetti sauce on your finger.” She laughed and laughed…

    BTW, thanks for the view into your parents’ house, that was cool, too.

  6. Lasto-adri *Blue* says:

    hay arabian princess…
    f u dont mind, i’ve given mmyself the right to tag u….
    if you dont mind, answer the Qs for U 😉

    cheers…

  7. Arabian Princess says:

    Lasto, mmy pleasure dear 🙂

    inshallah I will answer the questions soon 🙂

    Jeff, you are welcome any timme 🙂
    and lool to your chineese friend .. its true, I even hate thgat type of henna .. the fashion now is the designed one, simmiler to the pic

  8. ArabLady says:

    oh my godness ,,,so nice that u still have them ,,,,

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